Nothing at all…
No matter how many times you think it
No matter how many times you say it
No matter how many times you hear it
Nothing will change,
Nothing will resolve,
Nothing will heal
Nothing at all…
Unless you feel the words to be truth
Unless you believe the words to be truth
Unless you know the words to be truth
Nothing at all…
Absolutely nothing at all…

Obviously I’m in a morbid mood,
I just finished reading a book, a new author for me, which is one reason why I rarely venture out to explore the imaginations of new storytellers. Sometimes instead of taking you away from, they dump you right in the mist of the very thing you were reading so diligently to avoid popping into your conscious thoughts. I thought I was safe with this author. It wasn’t even the first story of hers that I read. She waited till the last two chapters before she knocked me on my emotional ass.

This is what Patricia Briggs wrote: “just like it is rape when an adult coerces or cajoles a child. No matter if the child cooperates or not. Whether it feels good or not. Because that child is not able to do anything else.”

beer fairy

today has been a spectacular day! first off, i began the day by writing. it felt really great to write again. other than blogging i haven't written much in the last few months. i realized that it doesn't matter what i write, writing just lifts my spirits and puts me in a jolly mood. and that is definitely what i am after, many delightfully jolly days.

i went to work at 4pm this evening only to find out that i was scheduled from 6:30am to 3pm. OMG! and of course the new big boss (as my mom likes to say, 'not my boss but the big boss! can't remember what you call him, everyone has a frigging title now!) was standing right there when i walked in some 8 1/2 hours late. fuck me, you know. shit what could i say? 'sorry my gray hairs are really showing today' i thought i was suppose to work 4pm till midnight. hell, they were swamped, they didn't even blink, they just smiled and said "we can always use you, 4pm to midnight?, that sounds great. go to 10."

high-hoe high-hoe, it's off to work i go..
i couldn't believe their response.

than i get home from work and notice that the beer fairy came to visit. i opened up my fridge and there is a 30 pack of beer inside. wow! my mind starts roaming. my hubby must have bought it, still wants to get me drunk and take advantage of me after 20 plus years together! so i walk into our bedroom to thank him and he said "I didn't buy you any beer. i thought you bought it. it was in there when i got home...."
wtf?
hope it wasn't the yard guys! no they come on Thursdays....
it's not spring break yet, so i know it wasn't my son...
thanks beer fairy, who ever you are!

finders keepers, losers weepers
i'm thirsty.

today was a golf day for me and i'm really starting to get into the swing of things. my husband and i went to our city golf course today. it has a really nice driving range plus a mini three hole practice course that kinda horse shoes around the driving range. it's perfect for wild ball whackers like myself.

last week we took my young nephew to play with us. he looked like a pro compared to me, but that's okay. i really enjoy it. today my husband was in an odd mood. he seemed rushed and flustered yet at the same time acting as if nothing was wrong. i wasn't suppose to notice he was in a hurry? i thought we were going to spend several hours when we only stayed at the golf course for about one. (and no, it doesn't take me an hour to play 3 holes of golf! once we pay the fee we can repeat them as many times as we like.)

needless to say that after one round he was ready to go.

"but only if you want to leave.... dear. what do you want to do?"
"i want to hit a bucket of balls. "

so i did. i whacked a small bucket of balls while he sat on the tailgate of the truck. was he embarrassed because i was such a poor player? i couldn't figure out why he was so impatient.
i was in a good mood and i couldn't figure out why he was not in a good mood yet pretending to be in a good mood...

"just do it like this..... dear...."
"keep your head down and your arms straight.... dear.."
" you're only hitting the top of the ball... dear.."

i think that my husband likes to play golf but with men equal to his skill level.
i am not that.
once i learn how to play maybe....

but for now, i think i'll clock most of my practice hours alone or with my young nephew. besides he thinks it's hilarious that instead of soaring through the sky my ball just rolls two feet in front of me. reminds me of a song "like an old meatball, all covered in cheese...."
is it possible for golf balls to have phobias?
opps i whacked again, let me slice and dice that for you...
birdie birdie in the sky, how come my ball won't fly...

A long, long time ago,

My best friend spent the night at my house. She recently returned home from orchestra camp. We talked for hours locked away in my room. she was telling me all the exciting details of her summer. she shared one escapade after another about this boy and the great romance, the bold and daring meeting, that lead to the perfect first kiss.

When she finally came to the end of those long tales of camp, i was silent for a second or two before we both burst into laughter. my childhood girlfriend was a gt (gifted and talented) kid. She was even more spectacular in person than all the stories she made up for my entertainment.

As usual, she managed to bring excitement, thrills and adventure to my ordinarily dark and gloomy childhood. sunshine on a cloudy day. That is just one reason, out of millions more, why she is still today and always will be, my dearest friend.